Where's Monkey When You Really Need Him?

I'd parked my truck and was walking across the parking lot, heading to Walgreens. Something odd caight my eye and I stooped down to get a better look. This SUV had an odd decoration in the trailer hitch receiver. Three miniature Mercury outboard motors complete with stainless steel propellers sat side by side, just as real ones would on the back of an offshore powerboat.

As I was planning out the shot a heavy set woman in a grey security guards uniform showed up and barked "Just what the hell do you think that you're doing?" When I told her she said that was illegal and I had to stop. I knew that that strip mall doesn't employ uniformed security guards and unless she could prove that she had a right to represent them she had no right to tell me what I could or couldn't do. I told her that I'd taken plenty of photos in that parking lot before.

She started to get really nasty and threatened to call the police. I offered to call the North Miami Police Department's direct line on my cell phone. I explained that they could care less because I was breaking no law, and then I requested her name and identification so I could sue her and the guard company for bugging me. She stormed off, muttering that she'd be back with the cops to arrest me. I finished taking my pictures, the cops never showed up, and l never saw the woman again. Later, when I ran into some cops that I know I related the story and they got a good laugh out of it. "They really need to train those guards better!" was their comment.