Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Bonnie Schwartzbaum, Monkette's Newest Client


Somehow or another Monkette managed to get my password! Next thing she's shouting across the room as she's reading one of my emails "Hey Al, you gotta drive me to another campaign kick-off party Wednesday evening!" "Oh? Who's running and running for what?" I replied.
"Some chick by the name of Bonnie Schwartzbaum is running for city council in district two" she excitedly continued "...and you know how I feel about female candidates! Maybe I can get her to hire me as her political consultant, run her campaign like I did with Mayor Burns two years ago. With me at the helm Kevin was a shoe-in!"
"You only ever ran one political campaign in your life!" "And we won! That gives me a 100% track record." "Monkette, I'm not sure that everybody treats statistics the way you do! You're beginning to sound like a Republican!" "C'mon Al, will you take me? Please? Pretty please?"
Early on I learned that there was a lot of truth in that old adage "Never argue with a woman". That's doubley true when the woman is a toy monkey! "OK Monkette, what time and where?" Then she started in with her wardrobe consultant personna; "DO NOT get a haircut! Don't start growing that silly beard again. Don't go along with that supposedly fashionable ain't shaved in three days look"...and on and on. "Jeans and an open collar white dress shirt, real shoes, and make sure that you wear socks. Your tweed blazer will look fine if it's chilly out." "Yes Dear. Whatever you say Dear."

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