The VOTESTALKERS!

The "Official" Election Day is Tuesday, June 2nd, but there's "Early Voting" at the North Miami Public Library this week. Things were getting serious. A couple of days ago somebody stole the Frank Wolland for Mayor yard sign from my lawn. Frank replaced it. Tonight the thief stole ALL the signs from my yard. I drove around the neighborhood and sure enough, the thief must have found a market for used campaign signs. Everybody's yard was devoid of campaign signs, regardless of candidate.

The rain poured down all day, really POURED, but Michelle Garcia, Frank Wolland, and Bonnie Schwartzbaum, and their supporters (as well as their opponents) were out there in front of the polls holding campaign signs, waving at the people driving by, and speaking with everybody they could, while trying to maintain a remnant of dryness beneath their umbrellas. Mostly they just got soaked. I wasn't there more than about fifteen minutes, used my umbrella, took some photos, and I got soaked. Monkette refused to even get out of the truck!

They were STALKING VOTERS! That reminded me of the motion picture my friend Bob Morgan had made a few years back. The cover is perhaps a bit too graphic for an election, but it is an eye grabber!

Nobody is going to get their heart cut out of their still living body for voting for the wrong candidate. Honest! Regardless of any rumors you might have heard to the contrary. Save that kind of thing for the movies.

Recently my old friend Robert Morgan has gotten back in touch with me after a too many years hiatus. He told me that he has the script written for BLOODSTALKERS II and like the first film it will be filmed in the Everglades. Most likely it will be headquartered here in North Miami. He wants me to do the stills and I'll probably have a small part in the film. Look at the hair style on the guy in the picture! A younger face with less grey hair, but pretty much the same shaggy mop that I'm sporting these days. Without a doubt a movie star hair style.

Monkette is all excited. She told me that being a movie star should make me very popular with the ladies. Last week she told me that I should be very popular with the ladies already, based on some demographic research that she was doing in preperation for the election. She told me that according to the latest government statistics I'm one of the three North Miami residents who are unmarried straight male registered Democrats not living in nursing homes.

What's Happening? Bedlam!

The voting was over, the ballot boxes were heading back to city hall,the council chambers were overflowing with the candidates, their families, and their supporters. The usual array of civic activists were there, and most likely not a few people who were just hoping to get invited over to a victory party. They tend to have much better food than Burger King. Even the losers had planned victory parties, and somebody has to eat all that food, including the fresh bananas.

Here we're looking at a row of candidates' behinds as they're trying to find out who won and who lost as soon as possible. Only one race had a winner. The other races ddn't produce the needed 50% plus one vote to determine a winner. Now the whole thing starts over again as the two top vote getters for each seat go head to head with one another, hoping to win the run-off on June 2nd.It's lookinggood for Frank Wolland and Bonnie Schwartzbaum. That sure put a big smile on Monkettes face!

Pounding The Pavement ~ Frank Wolland Is Worth The Work And The Walk

Monkette was getting pooped from all that walking in the hot sun. Distributing campaign literature for Bonnie Schwartzbaum, Frank Wolland,and chatting with people seemed like and endless task. Those blocks seem pretty long too when you're less than 18 inches tall. She sat down for breather.

"Hey Al! You know that Kenny Rogers song The Gambler?" "Yes" I replied, "What about it?"

"Well, you know how the lyrics go: You gotta know when to hold 'em and know when to fold 'em and know when to get up and walk away..."

"Yes, I do" I replied. "What are you leading up to?"

Monkette took another swig of water and continued "Well, just about everybody in North Miami knows that I'm the political consultant mapping out strategy for a couple of the candidates, and they know that I planned out Mayor Kevin Burns' winning campaign two years ago. Of course two years ago everybody kinda thought it was only a joke, but this time around I've had candidates vying for my services! Of course I'm a toy monkey and my head is stuffed with cotton. That makes it rather difficult to comprehend humans' thought processes, you know, how do humans think?"

"OK, what's the problem? What's your concern here?"

She paused for a minute, took another long swig of water, and we resumed our talk. "It seems to me that if I was human and a candidate, and my opponent was using a toy monkey as his or her political advisor, mapping strategy, writing speeches, and so forth, then the voters would realize the actual candidate of record was really just a stand-in for the toy monkey, right? So losing to that candidate is in reality losing the race to a toy monkey!"

I muttered something along the lines of "I guess you could look at it that way! Why?"

"Well, if that's true, then we have a few candidates running who should know when it's time to fold 'em and when it's time to get up and walk away. Fold and walk! Simple! They gotta know that they don't stand a chance in hell of pulling off a win at this point. Crap Al, if they can't figure that much out, how do they expect to function as a mayor or work on the council? The only honorable thing for them to do would be to save the city the expense of the run-off and just withdraw from the race. They could actually make themselves look good to the voters by doing that. Save face! Political capital in the bank for a run in the future!"

I couldn't argue with that! We felt a bit more refreshed and resumed our campaigning.

Me And Frank At Our Drug Dealer's Place

I don't even want to think about how long I've known Frank Wolland. It dates back to before cell phones, but not quite to the days of comic books and Dick Tracy with his amazing "two-way wrist radio". It dates back to the days when picking up prescriptions at the drug store wasn't a normal every day part of life. The good old days! The days when you knew that it would be ready when they said it would, and somebody was there ready to take it out of the bin and hand it to you when you walked up to the counter.
Oh well! Between his phone calls and my phone calls we managed to get at least fifteen minutes worth of chatting about the upcoming city election before we got our precious bags of drugs. Don't forget to vote on May 12th. Vote for Frank Wolland for mayor.

Those Not Running

(Just a reminder to the candidates that the photographs here in The Price of Silver are copyright (c) Al Kaplan and may not be reproduced in any form without the permission and consent of the copyright holder. You may link to them however.)

North Miami elections aren't run by party affiliation, no Democrats or Republicans, just residents. Monkette still found this odd, even after working as campaign manager of Kevin Burns' succesful mayoral campaign two years ago, because party affiliation was such a big factor in the recent presidential election.

Here we're out behind City Hall waiting for the meeting to start along with two of the counclimen who won four year terms two years ago. Councilman Michael Blynn is wearing a suit and tie, showing off his belly, and faces left in the photo. Councilman Scott Galvin, in a skin tight short sleeve knit shirt, shows off his physique while facing right. Monkette, as usual, sat on my shoulder surveying the scene. "This whole concept of right and left makes no sense" she whispered in my ear "...but I'd choose Scott on looks alone!" I reminded her that those guys weren't running in this election. "Damn! That's confusing!" she replied. Later, drinking coffee at Starbucks (the city has lousy coffee, and we both concur on that assesment!) we discussed the candidates
and agreeed that Frank Wolland was the best choice for Mayor and Bonnie Schwartzbaum the best choice for City Clerk. The council seat in our district won't be up for election for two more years but Monkette thinks that Michelle Garcia would make a great addition to the City Council. I had a bit of trouble explaining to her that she wasn't in our district but Monkette is supporting her anyway. Monkette wants to start a new political party, CIC! (That stands for Chicks In Charge!)

Frank Wolland Has The EXPERIENCE To Be North Miami MAYOR

For one thing, he's been mayor before. That convinced Monkette to back him! Two years ago she got involved in Mayor Kevin Burns' re-election campaign and she must have been doing something right!

Day after day, throughout the whole campaign, if you Googled things like North Miami Mayor, Kevin Burns, or any similar group of words there it was: Monkette's coverage of the race above the Miami Herald's story. That's right! The Price of Silver was getting more hits than the Miami Herald's on-line edition! But Kevin can't run more than two consecutive terms.

So Monkette and I put our heads together and decided to back Frank Wolland. He and I spent a few years working together on the North Miami Planning Commision, and he went on to become a city councilman followed by sitting in the mayor's chair. He was a good and effective mayor, and he and I pretty much think alike on most issues. I told Monkette "Hey! Go for it!" I'm not sure exactly what her motivations are, though. Banana plants in every yard? The ego trip of writing blog posts that beat out the Miami Herald website for readership? The thrill of running another successful political campaign?

When Frank stopped by here yesterday she was thrilled to put one of Frank's yard signs in the front lawn. She set it at just the right angle so it's visible to cars regardless of which direction you're driving on either N.E. 14th Avenue or N.E. 133rd Street. Tuesday night she's dragging me over to the Central North Miami Homeowners Association meeting. That girl has some serious politicking planned! Her candidates ALWAYS win. She has a 100% track record!